


love via batrachology

by fangirl_squee



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 12:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20025868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee
Summary: Lem received pictures of toads from a mystery texter. Fero sends pictures of toads to an unknown number.





	love via batrachology

**Author's Note:**

> based on this tweet [“earlier this year a random number i don't recognize started sending me pictures of toads”](https://twitter.com/grain_death/status/1154431264591613953)
> 
> thanks to Annie, for dming me that tweet

Lem’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

_ european common spadefoot toad _ , said the message. It was accompanied by a picture of what he could only assume was the spadefoot toad.

For the past three months, Lem had been receiving pictures of toads from an unknown number. Once or twice a day, this person would send him a picture of a toad and sometimes, if Lem asked, a follow up fact about the toad in question. Not really knowing what do with the situation, he had since saved in his phone as  _ Toad Guy _ .

It was, without question, the strangest situation Lem had found himself in, including his semester abroad where he’d been driven around by an astonishingly rude man and almost set a building on fire.

It was also one of his favourite things.

_ Beautiful _ , Lem texted back.

\----

Fero had mainly started to do it because he was bored. He’d been looking at pictures of toads as he half tried to write his essay for his Maintenance of Natural Wildlife class, and one of the toads just had such a great look about it, and so he’d scrolled through his phone looking for someone to send it to.

He had one number with no name attached to it. Fero pressed his lips together for a moment, then grinned, and hit send.

_ red-crowned toadlet  _ [ [ image ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-crowned_toadlet#/media/File:Pseudophryne_australis.jpg) ]

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed.

_ Thank you? _ said the unknown number.

_ you’re welcome _ , Fero replied.

The person that the unknown number belonged to never asked him to stop, and so Fero kept sending them. He wasn’t on a schedule to do it, but whenever he saw a picture of a toad, he sent it to them. More often than not, they replied within minutes, with a kind of baffled enthusiasm that made Fero grin down at his phone and wriggle his shoulders in delight.

He was looking down at his phone, preparing a new toad message, when his phone buzzed in his hand.

D Man: Hey are you busy right now?

Nature Boy: just studying whats up

D Man: Can you give my friend a lift home from a thing?

Fero made a face at his phone.

Nature Boy: is this the same friend i gave a lift to last time

D Man: If I say yes would you still do it?

Nature Boy: HE SUCKS DEVAR

Nature Boy: HE WOULDN’T STOP TAPPING ON THE DASHBOARD AND TELLING ME ABOUT THE PATTERN OF THE MUSIC OF THE WORLD

Nature Boy: HE SPENT A TWENTY MINUTE CAR RIDE TELLING ME ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL IT WAS TO STUDY ABROAD

Nature Boy: LIKE YEAH DUDE I KNOW WERE ON THE SAME SCHOOL FUNDED TRIP RIGHT NOW

Nature Boy: UGH

D Man: I know, I know, but I’m a family thing and I can’t leave to do it. You live just around the corner and it would only be like a five minute drive this time, I swear.

D Man: Please? I’ll owe you one.

Fero glared at his phone.

Nature Boy: u will owe me a million

D Man: We can negotiate that part later, but thank you.

Fero groaned dramatically. He continued to groan as he put on his hoodie and headed out into the rainy night to get into his car, to help Devar’s asshole friend.

He huffed a breath as he sat down. Asshole probably  _ was _ to strong, but the guy was  _ so _ annoying, rambling on the entire ride, not thanking Fero at  _ all _ for taking time out of  _ his _ day to do  _ him _ a favour, smiling at Fero like they were  _ friends _ or something with his stupid handsome face-

Fero shook himself.

Whatever! Time to go pick this guy up.

But first. He hit send on the toad picture. No reason to deny his mystery sort-of-friend just because of some dude.

\----

Lem’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, covering the screen with hss hand so it didn’t get rained on.

_ banded bullfrog _ [ [ image ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banded_bullfrog#/media/File:Banded_Bullfrog_\(Kaloula_pulchra\),_young,_Angkor_Wat,_Cambodia.jpg) ]

He smiled down at his phone.

_ Thank you mystery toad giver _ .

He was still smiling down at his phone as the car pulled up beside him, narrowly missing splashing him with water. Lem jumped, glaring at the driver. The guy at the wheel grinned, rolling down his window.

“Devar sent me to pick you up.”

“I- oh.” Lem frowned. “Don’t I know you?”

The guy rolled his eyes, his hands flexing on the wheel. “Yeah, we went on the school exchange thing together.” He paused. “I helped you, with the fire extinguisher?”

Despite the cold air, Lem felt his cheeks heat. “Oh! Right, yes, of course.”

The guy looked at him for a moment. “So are you getting in the car or what?”

“Right!” said Lem.

Lem gave directions, fiddling with the straps of his damp backpack as they drove in silence. He tried desperately to remember the guy’s name, the fluttery panic only increasing as the car pulled to a stop.

“Thank you, uh… Thanks?”

The guy gave him a look. “Thanks what?”

“What do you mean what?”

The guy shrugged. “It sounded like you were going to say something else.”

“I, uh,” Lem swallowed. “Nothing, I just- thanks Ferra.”

The guy froze. “ _ Ferra _ ?”

“Uh,” said Lem.

“You think my name is  _ Ferra _ ?”

“Well I- Phillip?”

“You’re just  _ guessing _ !”

“Well I don’t think we were ever introduced!”

“We so were!”

“Well, then-” Lem spluttered, “Well, then, what’s  _ my  _ name?”

The guy opened his mouth, then shut it again. He paused. “I have no fucking idea.”

They both looked at each other for a moment. Lem felt laughter, bubbling in his chest. The guy began to laugh, a loud bright sound, and so Lem let it out, one hand on his face.

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” said the guy, “Okay, okay, okay-” He broke into giggles again, taking a breath to try and control himself. “Okay. My name’s Fero.”

“I’m Lem.”

“Oh  _ yeah _ !” said Fero. “No, I’m just kidding, I had absolutely no idea of what your name was, oh man…”

Lem grinned. “Well.”

Fero grinned back at him.

Silence returned to the car, less strained than before but with a new edge to it, bringing a fluttery-nervous feeling to Lem’s chest.

“Well, I- This is my place, so, uh. Thanks.”

Fero waved a hand. “You’re welcome.”

Lem got out of the car, using his backpack to shield himself from the rain. He waved to Fero, and Fero waved back, waiting to drive off until Lem was at the door of his apartment building.

\----

_ desert rain frog _ [ [ image ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breviceps#/media/File:Breviceps-adspersus-adspersus.jpg) ]

_ Oh! A good round boy! _

_ you should hear their noise!  _ [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBxn56l9WcU) ]

_ Oh my GOD!! _

_ yeah!! _

\----

Fero didn’t see Lem again until Devar’s big end-of-semester house party. Normally he skipped them - they were so crowded and so loud and he only knew maybe five people who were there, ever - but the semester had been colder and wetter than usual, keeping him cooped up and making him feel restless.

Maybe, thought Fero, it would be good to do something big and loud.

Devar’s place was in walking distance, and Fero could hear it before he’d rounded the block. He grinned to himself as he approached, his steps bouncing with pent-up energy. Yeah, this was  _ totally _ what he needed.

Fero had a better time than usual, bouncing from group to group, losing by a  _ deeply  _ impressive margin to Hella at beer pong before he stumbled outside. It was quieter in the backyard, the sound of the party muffled as the door shut behind him. There were a handful of people outside, speaking quietly together in twos and threes, the sound of a guitar from further back drawing Fero closer.

He followed the sound towards its source - Lem, slowly playing the guitar. He looked up as Fero flopped into the chair next to him.

“Hi, Fero right?”

“Yeah,” said Fero, grinning, “Lem, right?”

Lem huffed a laugh. “Right.”

Fero leant back, listening to Lem play for a moment. “What are you doing out here?”

“Nothing,” said Lem, “trying to sober up enough to drive home, I think.”

“Already?”

Lem shrugged. “I have work tomorrow.” He made a face. “Or today, technically, since we’re after midnight now.”

Fero kicked his feet back and forth. “Want some company?”

Lem blinked. “I- thank you, yes.”

Fero nodded, swaying back and forth to Lem’s song a little. “That’s nice.”

“This? It’s not really anything, yet, I’m-” Lem lowered his voice. “I’m working on an album, actually.”

Fero grinned. “Cool!”

Lem smiled, looking a little shy. “I- yes, I suppose it is. Don’t- don’t tell anyone though. It’s nowhere near down yet.”

“Well let me know if you need a hand,” said Fero.

“Really? What do you play?”

“The flute, kind of,” said Fero, “But I meant more like moral support.”

Lem got up to get water, eventually, leaving Fero with his guitar. Fero plucked a couple of the strings and then, grinning to himself, pulled out his phone.

_ banjo frog aka pobblebonk _ [ [ image ](https://wildambience.com/wildlife-sounds/eastern-banjo-frog-pobblebonk/) ]

_ Does he play the banjo? _

_ better! their call sounds like plucking a banjo string _

_ bonk bonk! _

_ Oh my god _

_ Incredible _

Fero had gone back to loosely plucking the strings of the guitar by the time Lem returned. He handed Fero a glass of water, their fingers clumsily brushing. Fero took a long drink.

“I was uh, thinking of heading out, actually,” said Lem, “did you, uh, did you need a lift?”

Fero shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

“Great,” said Lem. He took the guitar from Fero’s lap, fiddling with it for a moment. “So, uh. Ready to go?”

Fero blinked. “Sure.”

He pushed himself up, feeling pleased that the world was only swaying slightly, and followed after Lem. Lem was parked a little down the street, just on the edge of the where the light from the streetlamp reached. He fumbled with his keys in the dim light.

“Oh,” said Fero, “here.”

He got out his phone, tapping the torch ap. His hand brushed against his messages, opening his most recent text thread.

_ Oh my god _

_ Incredible _

Fero grinned at the message, a warm feeling bubbling in his chest.

_ Incredible _

“Thanks,” said Lem.

Fero blinked, his focus shifting back to Lem. “No problem.”

Fero sat in the car, a wave of tiredness washing over him as Lem began to drive. He struggled to keep his eyes open as he gave directions, waving a hand lazily as he prompted Lem to take a left here, a right up ahead.

Fero yawned as they came to a stop. “Thanks for the lift man.”

“It’s no trouble,” said Lem, “I mean, you gave me a lift before so…”

“Yeah, I guess it’s my turn next time,” said Fero.

Lem stilled, his expression shifting before Fero could get a clear look at it. “Oh, yes, right. Next time.”

Fero waved clumsily back to Lem as he made his way towards the apartment block’s gate. “Thanks!”

Lem waved back from the car.

Fero paused, as he got to the door, to watch Lem drive away.

\----

D Man: Dude did you really go home with Lem King Last night?

Nature Boy: [seen: 8:45am]

D Man: FERO??

Nature Boy: I was ASLEEP, JEEZ

Nature Boy: also yeah he dropped me home but like that was it

Fero began typing another text and then deleted it, closing his eyes. He’d figure out what the hell Devar was talking about after he took a nap.

\----

Devar VDD: I guess you don’t find Fero such a terrible car companion after all, huh

Lem King @ Bandcamp: What do you mean?

Devar VDD: You took him home.

Lem KIng @ Bandcamp: I just gave him a lift.

Lem King @ Bandcamp: To HIS home!

Devar VDD: Sure.

\----

_ Okay I have to know _

_ Who are you? _

_ i’m the guy that sends you toads! _

_ That is just as good, I suppose! _

_ How did you get my number, anyway? _

_ dunno _

_ i think i just had it! _

_ That’s valid _

_ I will continue to not save you number and just enjoy the toad content _

_ bonk bonk!  _ [ [ link ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp8LH4eiQNA) ]

\----

Each semester, Lem put off returning the books he had borrowed from the campus library until after the semester was over. It had led to some rather outrageous library fines, but there was something he found extremely satisfying about returning an enormous stack of books, like a physical version of closing several dozen tabs after finishing an essay.

As he turned to leave, stretching his shoulders out a little, he spotted Fero at one of the library computers. There were a few other students around, but Fero looked a great deal more studious than the rest, a stack of books next to him and notepad open in front of him.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” said Lem.

Fero jumped a little, twisting around in his seat. He grinned as he saw Lem, making Lem smile back. It was strange how quickly you could develop a reflex like that around a person.

“Post-break placement stuff,” said Fero, gesturing at the screen, “I forgot they need like, a three hundred word thing on why they should let you be a park ranger or whatever.”

“A park ranger?” said Lem.

“Or whatever,” said Fero, “I’m aiming for forestry service, there’s this team that they send out to assess tree health, which would be cool.”

Lem had a sudden mental image of Fero as a sturdy-looking park ranger, his face serious as he studied some plant or other. He swallowed.

“I- yes, I suppose it would be,” said Lem. “I- do you want some company?”

“Sure,” said Fero. He smiled up at Lem, nudging the seat next to him out with his foot. “We really are taking everything in turns, huh?”

“What- oh, right,” said Lem, huffing a laugh. “I suppose we are.”

“That fits with your like,” Fero waved a hand, “pattern of the universe thing, right?”

Lem tilted his head. “I- Yes, I suppose it does.” He paused. “I, uh. I was quite into that particular philosophical when we were abroad, wasn’t I?”

Fero laughed, several people turning around to look at him.

“I’ll say!” Fero lowered his voice. “Not to tell you that you can’t talk about what you want but I was  _ so _ glad to get out of that car.”

He bumped his knee against Lem’s as he said it. Lem wasn’t sure if the touch was intentional on Fero’s part or not, but he smiled just the same. 

They chatted at Fero slowly worked. Lem left him to read through one final time before he submitted it, going to get a bottle of water from the vending machine outside. His phone buzzed, and he swiped it open as he walked back towards Fero.

_ golden toad  _ [ [ image ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_toad#/media/File:Bufo_periglenes2.jpg) ]

_ Lovely! _

Lem was still looking at the picture as he sat down.

“What’re you smiling at?” asked Fero, one hand on Lem’s knee as he leaned over to see Lem’s phone screen.

Lem flushed. “It’s um. There’s this guy- or, I think it’s a guy, anyway- who sends me pictures of toads.”

Fero went very still. Lem looked up, trying to affect a casual air.

“It’s uh, I know it’s a bit strange but it’s very nice, and-”

He caught sight of Fero’s phone, open on the desk beside him. Even from this angle, he could easily recognise the picture of the little yellow frog and the bubble of his response.

“You?” said Lem.

“ _ You _ ?!” said Fero.

"B-banjo toad?” spluttered Lem.

"I was thinking of you when I send that!"

"I play the  _ guitar _ !"

“ _ They both have strings _ !” yelled Fero, waving his arms.

“ _ Ex _ cuse me,” said a voice behind them.

They both turned to see Professor Fantasmo behind them.

“ _ If _ you are both going to have such  _ loud _ personal revelations, could you  _ please  _ take your conversation elsewhere? Some of us are trying to  _ work _ .”

Fero silently gathered up his books, stuffing them into his backpack. Lem pressed his lips together, googling string instruments.

The moment they were outside the library, Lem held up his phone, flicking through pictures of the instruments. “Do you think  _ these _ are the same?”

Fero plucked Lem’s phone from his hand, walking out of Lem’s reach as he swiped to a picture of a ukulele. “Baby guitar.”

“No!”

Fero swiped to a photo of a cello. “Big guitar.”

“ _ No _ !” said Lem, snatching his phone back.

Fero cackled, grinning up Lem. Lem grinned back despite himself, his expression fading as his eyes slid to the phone in Fero’s hand.

“So, it’s- You’ve been the one sending me pictures of toads?”

Fero flushed. “I guess? I didn’t know I was sending them to  _ you _ .”

“Oh,” said Lem.

“I mean,” continued Fero, “I don’t even know how I got your number. It was just a random one I had in my phone. I kind of thought maybe it was some food delivery person or something.”

“I… that’s not any less confusing,” said Lem.

“I don’t know,” said Fero, “It was nice to be able to share these cool photos with someone else. And the person seemed to like getting them.”

“I did like getting them,” said Lem.

Fero stopped walking, turning to look up at Lem. “You did?”

“I did,” said Lem, “I do, they’re- it’s such a weird, nice thing to get, even when I didn’t know where they were coming from.”

Fero bit his lip. “And now that you do know?”

“It’s- it’s still very strange,” said Lem, “but it does make more sense, and I… it’s nice that it was you. I’m glad that it was you, I think.”

Fero shifted his feet. “Did you want me to stop sending them?”

“Absolutely not,” said Lem, “They are a joy to receive.”

“Yeah! They are!” Fero’s hands flexed on the strap of his bag. “Listen, uh. How’d you get here today?”

Lem frowned. “I… took the bus?”

“Did you want a lift home?” said Fero, “Or we could, uh, we could hang out at my place? If you want. If this hasn’t made it too weird.”

“It has made it very weird,” said Lem, “but I think I kind of like that part of it.”

Fero’s expression cleared. “Cool.”

“Cool,” said Lem.

Their hands bumped against each other’s as they walked to Fero’s car, never quite tangling together but never quite accidental. They sat in the car for a moment. Lem glanced at Fero out of the corner of his eye, watching Fero’s hands and he fiddled with his keys.

“We can just hang out,” offered Lem, “You could should me more pictures of toads if you like.”

Fero made a face, not looking at Lem. “If you’re just going to make fun of me you can walk home.”

“Fero,” said Lem.

He reached out, covering Fero’s hands with his. Fero inhaled sharply, still not looking at Lem.

“I’m not making fun of you,” said Lem, “I really did like seeing them.”

Fero did look over at him at that, a light flush on his cheeks. “Really?”

“Yes,” said Lem, “they were, probably, the best messages I have ever received.”

A smile bloomed across Fero’s face as he looked up at Lem, the afternoon sunlight filtering through the windshield just so, drawing Lem down to kiss him. It really was nothing more than the light press of lips at first, hesitant on Lem’s part before Fero’s hand came up, sliding around the back of Lem’s head.

Lem gasped a little at his touch, turning his body more towards Fero and letting the kiss deepen, sinking into the heat of it.

Someone outside the car let out a loud wolf whistle.

They sprang apart, Fero glaring at whoever was outside and Lem covering his face with his hand. They looked at each other, and Fero grinned. He bit his lip as though he was trying to suppress it, looking down at his hands.

“Do you- do you want to do that again?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” said Lem, with feeling.

Fero leant over and pressed a kiss to Lem’s cheek, lightning fast and deliberately sloppy, laughing at Lem’s sound of surprise.

“Then let’s get out of here.”

“I think your place is closer,” said Lem.

“And it’s a prime source for toad pictures,” said Fero.

“Well by all means then,” said Lem, “let’s go.”

\----

D Man: Heard you went home from the library with Lem King.

Nature Boy: [ [ image ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaxyrus_fowleri#/media/File:Fowlers_Toad_-_side_view.jpg) ]

D Man: What does that mean?

Nature Boy: it’s fowler’s toad

D Man: What does that MEAN?

Nature Boy: idk i think it’s named after some naturalist guy

“Oh,” said Lem, looking over Fero’s shoulder, “that’s a very small one!”

Fero laughed, dropping his phone off the side of the bed and turning towards Lem. He wriggled slightly, until their faces were level, so that Fero could kiss him.

“I’m glad you liked them,” said Fero.

He felt Lem smile against his lips.

“They are an absolute delight,” said Lem. He paused. “A bit like you, really.”

Fero felt himself flush pink, pressing his face into the crook of Lem’s neck.

“Thanks,” he said, voice muffled. He lifted his head to look up at Lem. “You’re like that too.”

Lem’s cheeks flushed to match how Fero’s felt. “Oh. That’s… thanks?”

“You’re welcome,” said Fero, and leaned up to kiss him.

It seemed like the thing to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I looked up a lot of pictures of toads for this fic and you know what? They're good. Love these little guys.
> 
> come say hi: mariusperkins on most places


End file.
